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wrong person, wrong time

yes, i've decided i'm perfectly okay with you & her. i really, really am. surprisingly. it's weird how everytime i really start to like someone, they get back with their old girlfriend/obsession. i just don't want to see you hurt, you know?

last drumline competition was this weekend. THIRD PLACE, HELL YEAH! a medal, my first year. alex & blake keep telling me how awesome that is, how lucky i am.

it's funny, this was the only time i was truly nervous. put simply, i was freaking out. & he was the only one who realized it. but he talked to me & told me i would do fine (i always do, and i did) & he massaged my shoulders to make me less tense. i could've done without the thumb on my cheek, but you know, it's whatever works, & i'm perfectly fine remember?

the guard placed 8th. blake took jacob's place, & i nearly cried, the performance was so good. i think we all nearly cried, & alex actually did. i thought maybe this weekend would be enough to make me cry, to rise that much emotion out of me - it's OVER, & one of my best friends is practically GONE - but it didn't. haven't figured that out yet.

i was scared to death by a blue guy who was just plain creepy. i ate half the bucket of ice at 2 in the morning (jordan says i'm anemic). i slept the whole way home, literally. i got to watch a mario bros. guard show. i was okay, and then upset, but okay again. i felt lonely but jordan & megan bought me a yellow rose. i didn't hit the wrong note! me, megan, jordan, abby & sam all layed in the floor and were pillows for each other. i ran around the hotel a bajillion times because i didn't want to sit still. the carpet was funny, like grass.

WE KEPT THE TRADITION! wal-mart, hell yeah! i bought sausage and biscuits and alex & i split a king size reeses. makes me feel special i wasn't the only one wanting to keep it that way! & we got to show our medals to some guy who graduated last year, used to be in drumline and is apparently a bastard. they thought it was funny that we got a medal after he left. hehe, whatever.

i love being hyper & acting stupid with 6 people in the (5 seat) car listening to a song about a rabbit named rock n roll.

since blake is a senior, and it was his last drumline competition, alex's mom bought him the collage of our drumline & everyone signed the back.

blake, yay you. be optimistic, it's fun. i'll miss you! -tia

was the cleverest thing i could think of at the time. it i had given it much thought, this is what i would've written instead:

blake, you are honestly one of my best friends. you've always been there for me, whether it was to calm me down before a competition or to take me to huddle house or to tell your mom jokes or to talk to me for hours on the phone. i still haven't gotten the rubik's cube figured out, but when i finish it in about ten years, i'll give you a call. don't worry, be happy. & remember being optimistic is fun. i hope you know & realize, without me having to write this down, that i'm always going to be here for you, whether you're in grayson county or halfway across the world (and no, i'm not just saying that - "say what you mean, mean what you say"). i'm going to miss you more than you know when you're off to college next year, so you best come down & visit us a LOT. don't make me come kidnap you. always remember that i AM intimidating, whether you choose to believe it or not. i hope your senior year was a great one & that you'll always remember it. even though i probably don't have to tell you, i love you blake, don't forget it. -tia