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why oh why... this isn't regret

last night, on the ride home from impact, i sat in between blake & jason on the way home from impact.

i left my hand on my knee, & blake's was on his... mine gently inched closer with each bump we encountered. until my hand rested on top of his & our fingers intertwined. my hands were warm the whole ride home.

we reached megan's house & once we were there we watched Billy Madison. he laid down beside me on the bed, & slowly his arm snaked around my shoulders, pulled me a little closer, his fingers lightly caressing my elbow & my arm. i reached for his hand & held it many times. we were calm. we were comfortable. we were happy & smiling.

we can't do this.