"i care a great deal about you, & just want to see you happy" his livejournal has private entries. one from yesterday, a few from a week or two ago, etc. etc. why do i want to read them so badly? am i so cocky that i am sure they have something to do about me? & what would i even want them to say? but to him, i do not have enough self esteem. & he wouldn't answer me to whether cocky or low confidence was better. i'm coming to realize i didn't (don't) know him very well. & it's NOW i'm looking to change it. & in his honor, i've resolutions: more self confidence, more saying what's on my mind. his resolution was to entirely stop drinking cokes & i told him it wouldn't work, he's already doing that anyway. now he must think up a new one. here's to hoping i'm not a bother. here's to hoping he still cares.
12.26.06