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i have, for the most part, stayed home for the last six weeks.

today, i have an itch to get out of this house. to sit in the sunshine on a patio, drinking a chai latte. to talk and to laugh and to hold someone else's hand.

i have shut myself off from even the inkling of a possibility since early june, since right after i saw you again, since you left those marks on me. there was no point in pursuing anything, not here. not now.

instead, tonight, i will go to my friends' house for dinner. i may stop first for a chai latte, but probably through the drive-thru.

you take what you can get.

and you appreciate it, too.