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today is heavy

you big dummy.

at least this helps you realize that if someone does want you, they will let you know. they will make it work. they won't ask you to just play it by ear.

(though can i commend you for standing up for yourself and saying you'll find some place else instead since you prefer to plan ahead? seems like that's an improvement, right?)

you keep putting yourself in the same situations over and over again where these people don't want you, but something you have to offer instead.

you don't have to keep doing it.

other people will want you.

i promise you. it doesn't seem like it. but they will.

i think.