and still, that little part of the back of my brain says, by doing this, you're inviting it to happen, very movie-like it's weird, isn't it? how you learn these very specific parts of someone, of their personality, of their life, but there's so much you won't ever be privy too. so much left to learn. i am moving on. -- not unrelated: i should have said, "oh, i see. this is how it feels when i do this exact thing to other people. and it's shitty. i've got it now, world. i understand."
01.13.19