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it felt sort of like high school or college, when you would be around a lot of people and start to actually form a connection with someone organically. like you could have relevant conversation as a group and all laugh together, and you can have one-on-one attention and really start to get to know someone.

i wanted badly for someone to look at me with admiration, interest, in their eyes. i wanted badly for someone to touch me ever so lightly, to put their hand at the small of my back, to touch my hand while talking.

none of that actually happened.

it probably won't for a while.