central city today, i drove an hour to meet with one of my best friends from college. we lingered at a delicious restaurant where we gorged ourselves on cucumber salad, mashed potatoes, and free key lime pie; we took a walk in the blazing hot sun with sweat dripping down our backs; we stopped in a bar for some wine and beer. we talked about our lives, as we always do, and how they fall apart and fall together. she just spent a month in france with a wild weekend in milan. she, married 4 years now, had a fling with a british poet after they were out at bars until the early hours of the morning, dancing when they were empty, and walked home together in the rain. now, she and her husband are figuring out what this means for them. regardless of what they do - have a polyamorous relationship, get a divorce (which neither want), or simply stay monogamous, it's a new chapter for the both of them. she has just had two stories published in renowned literary journals. the month in france was spent at a writing workshop, honing her craft before she prepares her thesis this fall. in the midst of catching up, i said, "your life is so exciting. so much more exciting than mine!" and she said simply, "no, it's not. it's not usually like that. it's boring and staying at home and itching about where to go next and what to do." and i gained some perspective - because this is how i feel all of the time. i felt closer to her than i've felt in years. we both contain that longing for adventure, that hope that there's more to our lives than this, whatever this is at the time. we want to travel, we want to write, we want to be more than people think we are. i suppose that's everyone, isn't it? but the connection felt very strong today, and i'm thankful for it. being around her makes me feel like i should do anything that makes me happy, even if it doesn't make someone else quite as elated.
07.05.16