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there is no way out

i am avoiding homework and humming christmas songs.

feel euphoric for a day, and then take a week or so to be depressed.

then level out.


i'm still not sure what to do. should i stop altogether? try to figure something out?

all i know is i'd like to come visit you. it is equal parts a wonderful and terrible idea.


even if you decided to love me, we would be stuck, spiraling down, for so many reasons.