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"you too x sweet dreams"

i have been in a rotten state of mind for a while now. i'm slowly digging my way out of it.

you tell me the nicest things. whether you mean them or are pacifying my drunkenness, i still appreciate them. things like how i can talk to you about anything at any time, how talking to me is better than talking to your other friends on xbox.

i have a hard time moving on, especially in this case. in my list of trips in the coming year, colorado is sandwiched between the two trips to florida.

the other night when you came home drunk and told me someone bought you a drink, my heart dropped because i had to think: this will happen. this should happen. when you told me it was actually a forty year old woman, i laughed at my sick sense of relief.

it is difficult but not impossible. soon enough i will think about this and how silly it was, why would i ever hang on so long? you'll see.