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how to feel like a failure in three easy steps:

1. choose a degree that makes you feel as though you have no straight career path to follow. graduate in four years, summa cum laude and with an honors degree.

2. apply and inquire about job after job, even minimum wage jobs at libraries.

3. when they don't call, resign yourself to the fact that all you're ever going to be is someone who works in food service because that's all you have experience in. choose now to hate your life and move on.