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ugh i make myself so angry

i just can't ever seem to get it right.

on tumblr, bryant posted this text post that says, "I'm sorry? Did you forget I existed? Oh that's right you're too busy being a fuckface! :)" and whilst i don't entirely know what's going on in his life right now i automatically assumed this was about me.

on tumblr i posted a couple of things that could be construed as mean, probably because i'm trying to convince myself that it's OKAY to feel angry or upset or sad when people do things to you even when you completely understand why they did it (right? that's right, isn't it?). so i get through things with humor. and post things that may or may not have said that i am a settler and that the reason my relationships fail is because i'm too nice.

so, i guess that can be construed as mean. plus i hadn't talked to him in four or five days, because god damn it he broke up with ME and if he wants to talk to ME he should text ME because i don't want to be annoying and/or pathetic and/or lose in my eyes. i'm an annoyingly proud motherfucker sometimes.

anyhow, all this ended up in me texting him about life and he eventually fell asleep after me asking him to tell me something awesome that is going on in his life currently. and he never answered it. which pisses me off, if i'm honest. because i probably should've just wallowed in this idea that it was about me and never asked him about it and felt bad.

when i talked to him he wasn't malicious or anything and it didn't seem like it was even mildly possible that he would be angry. so.

tl;dr: i'm an idiot. and i'm mad about it.